A blonde and lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from LA to NY. The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde, very tired, just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over toward the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists (as lawyers tend to do) and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun.
He says, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5.00 and vice versa."
Again, she declines and tries to get some sleep.
The lawyer, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5.00, and if I don't know the answer, I'll pay you $500.00."
This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring there will be no end to the torment unless she plays, agrees to the game.
The lawyer asks the first question, "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?"
The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches in her purse, pulls out a $5 bill and hands it to the lawyer.
"Okay," says the lawyer, "your turn."
She asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?"
The lawyer, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references, no answer. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the net and Library of Congress, still no answer. Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and coworkers, all to no avail. After an hour, he wakes the blonde and hands her $500. The blonde says, "Thank you," and turns back to get some more sleep.
The lawyer, more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks, "Well, what's the answer?" Without a word, the blonde reaches in her purse, hands the lawyer $5.00, and goes back to sleep.
Old Spice Red Zone Deodorant
Use only on underarms.
Do not take if allergic to zantac.
Warning: May cause Drowsiness
Warning: For indoor or outdoor use only.
Ignite lighter away from face.
This floodlight is capable of illuminating large areas, even in the dark
These ear plugs are nontoxic, but may interfere with breathing if caught in windpipe
Warning: Do not attempt to swallow
Caution: Contents may catch fire.
Caution: Never aim spray at your own eyes.
Auto-Shade Windshield Visor
Warning: Do not drive with sunshade in place. Remove from windshield before starting ignition.
WARNING: Do not weld can to rim.
Suitable for outdoor use.
RCA Television Remote Control
Not Dishwasher Safe
Pine Mountain Fire Logs
Caution: Risk of fire
Home Depot Treated Lumber
Do not consume
Warning: Do not use while sleeping.
Caution water on road during rain.
This camera will only work when film is inside.
Cemetery Road. Dead End
Church Parking Lot Sign
Thou shalt not park
Children's Superman Costume
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
Silk Soy Milk
Shake well and buy often
Caution: Avoid dropping air conditioners out of windows.
Warning: Never iron clothes on the body.
Slush Puppy Cup
This ice may be cold
American Airlines Peanuts
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
Nabisco Easy Cheese
For best results, remove cap.
Swanson TV Dinners
This product must be cooked before eating.
Hershey's Almond Bar
Warning: May contain traces of nuts
Instructions: Put on food
Capitalization is the difference between helping your friend Jack off his horse and helping your friend jack off his horse.